Linda's Story
Our first interviewee, Linda, told us that she thought long and hard as to what she could do with the camera to best tell us her story -
"I created a story in my head and carry my camera with me everywhere I go ... I take photos [with the thought] to fit the story that I want to tell you"
And a story she told us indeed. Linda, 38, is certified unfit for work by IMH (The Institute of Mental Health) due to her history of multiple suicide attempts. After being denied a place to stay due to an unaccepting sister-in-law and uncle, Linda went to live at Hotel 81, but found that it was too expensive for her to afford. She attempted suicide yet again, but was found by the hotel staff, who informed the relevant healthcare authorities. Linda was sent to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for a month, after which a social worker connected her to the T Project shelter. She has called this shelter home for the past 6 months.
As she fumbled through her stack of photos while weaving her narrative, her eyes visibly darkened at some points. Each of these shots had a special part to play in the story she so carefully pieced together for us. Browsing through the printouts, many of them involved spaces - some of which made her feel safe, and others which frightened her, or even brought back memories of traumatic times. A noteworthy location would be this photo she took at the lake at Gardens By The Bay.
This iconic space may be a touristic must-see destination for many, but for Linda, it is the first place where she attempted to take her life. She mentioned that at the time, Gardens By The Bay was not built yet, and the tide was low, thus her attempt was unsuccessful. But now that her suicidal thoughts are kept at bay temporarily, she feels fortunate to be able to see something so beautiful being built over a place that represented a dark time for her.
"When I attempted to [commit] suicide, Gardens By the Bay [was] not built yet, but when I go back; I realize how beautiful it is and I [feel] lucky that [the first suicide attempt was] not successful because I won’t get to see this place."
Linda mentioned that out of respect for her brother - whose Sister-in-Law would make a fuss whenever she came around, she would meet her mother at the void deck opposite of her mother's house. She fondly told us of how she enjoyed her time with her mother and despite the rejection by her external family members, she was grateful that she could still feel her mother's love. Although, of course, it would be nice to enter the house.
Linda also told us about her fears and darker days. She has been afraid of the dark ever since a traumatic encounter at Luck Rd. However, even though this reminds her of experiences that she would rather not think about, she feels like she must face the darkness. Sharing her thoughts with everyone is something she used to do a lot in the past but because of all the things that have happened to her and the life experiences she had, Linda learned that she could not tell people everything.
We were wondering whether Linda had something to say to her family if she would show them the pictures she took. She thinks that they will not understand but if they would accept her the way she is, she could have a normal life and she would not have to hide or call whenever she wants to meet her mother. Going to a new church has helped Linda a lot as well, they listen to her and understand the problems that she is going through.
"I would tell them that maybe God send me to this world in this form and I can't defy God's will. You can't blame me for who I am. Jesus says you can have your plan, but everything else should be determined by Jesus. Therefore, I have to accept the way my life is."
Linda is a beautiful individual in every way imaginable. She is kind, compassionate, thoughtful and loving. Despite the many traumatic encounters she has experienced, she still perseveres, still loves and still chooses to see the best in people.
"I forgive because of Jesus' love."
