Kim's Story
The group headed back down to the shelter on Sunday afternoon to conduct our fourth interview with Kim.
Gentle and soft-spoken, Kim, the eldest among all the girls staying in the shelter, brought us into the kitchen for a short intimate interview where she shared more about her relationship with family and the hardships of living as a transgender whilst growing up in Singapore.
“My mother never liked me. When my father couldn’t find a job, she blamed it on me and called me “suay”.
As she recounted her life and her past adversities, we were disheartened to learn that Kim had never received much love and support from her family, and how it was extremely difficult to get along with both her parents and seven siblings. With both parents suffering from a gambling addiction, Kim was left to perform most of the household chores such as doing the laundry and cooking for the whole family even though she was still busy schooling.
Similar to Sofia, Kim’s desire to become a transgender began during her primary schools days. However, she shared with us that she didn’t have many friends, and that she often ran to the school church during recess period to pray and seek help from God.
“I wanted to be pretty. I never think about boys. In primary school, recess time I always go inside the church. I pray and ask for help from God. I was lonely. I had friends, but seldom talk to them.”
Given her soft spoken personality, Kim told us that she never really announced her decision to become a transgender to her family members. Unfortunately, things took for a worse when her parents and brother found out about her make up stash in her closet. We were horrified and could not believe that Kim also suffered a beating from her own brother and that not one of her siblings had stepped forward to stop the fight.
“When my brother found out about my makeup, he beat me up. No one helped me.
My parents said – you deserve it."
Distressed and miserable, Kim left home at the age of 28, sought temporary shelter at a shop house in Chinatown and began taking up customer services roles across various companies to support herself financially.
When we asked Kim how it was like financing herself independently, she told us that her first few jobs were extremely challenging because she only received an income level of $800. Although it was not only until a few years later where she managed to receive bonuses and earn a reasonable income, getting by daily was a struggle because she had to juggle her finances between daily necessities and paying her rent. Fortunately, the now retired Kim is now depending on her CPF savings to manage her expenses.
Kim talked about how there was a period of time where she received harassment from her colleagues because of her sexual orientation. This incident occurred when she was working a late night shift in a Korean restaurant.
“I only fed up with the Korean men. One of the boss ask me to be in charge of the dinner service, his worker I don’t like, always try to disturb me. Because Korean men like to drink, he try to touch me.”
As the interview came to a close, Kim looked to us and shared with the group an important and inspiring message. When asked how she had the willpower and strength to overcome her struggles as a transgender, she said,
“People will judge you, but you shouldn’t be scared. Just try. Don’t care so much about the label. Reject never mind, try again. Put yourself out there. I not scared if people see me like that.
You must try.”
Despite the fact that she had to face all of these hardships alone,we were very touched and inspired by Kim’s headstrong determination and her optimistic outlook in life. Ending on a happy note, Karen hopes for a better future for the Transgendered community in Singapore and hopes to see more opportunities for Transgenders to live a happier and carefree life. Smiling widely, she beamed at us and said that she was so grateful to have met individuals like us who were making time and effort to help the Transgendered community.
*name has been changed to protect individual’s privacy
